24 Hours to Live

Matthew 6: 27-29 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Soloman in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are."

As we start our new battle and the ammunition is being evaluated and ordered I am coming to terms with my new life. I used to be a 'regular person'. What do I mean by 'regular person'? Well, I mean that I used to drive home in traffic and groan about how late I was going to be for class or getting somewhere important. I used to plan the weekends on Tuesday afternoons and think about all the things that needed to get done around the house. I did not have to worry about wearing a hat to cover my head because my hair was long and I could brush it, now it is just a big ball of fuzz. I used to complain about the small stuff and hold grudges against those that really did not need to be made such a deal about. I lost friendships because of my near sightedness. I was human and I am still human, just with a chronic condition.
I went to see my counselor today and she asked me, "How can you live with the idea of having terminal cancer." I looked at her alarmed, "I don't have terminal cancer." I replied.
She nodded and said, "I know but what if you did, how would you react to that information?"
I sat there stumped. I then replied, "Well I guess then I would just deal with it." I then realized there are many people living with terminal illness's like cancer today that are 'regular people' too. They just have to stay on top of their physical well being.
I never used to have to worry about my physical self. I used to complain about gaining weight here or there but for the most part I could eat whatever and be whatever.
My counselor then asked, "What if you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?" I thought about it and replied, "I would take my family to Disneyland and eat all the best food possible and enjoy myself." I then started to cry, she said, "Then you need to do that now, even if you are not terminally ill, you need to live your life even with this hanging over your head."
I started to cry and said, "I did do that and have been doing that, in fact we took my son to Disneyland this summer." I laughed and said, "Everyone kept telling my husband, he is too young to wait another couple of years but we don't have the luxury to do that." My counselor then prodded me, "Do you think anyone really has the luxury to wait until their child is older?" I thought about it and said, "No I guess not." She smiled and said, "We only have today, all of us, some of us have tougher roads to walk then others but we all have the same circumstances."
The point is, don't wait until your child is four to go to Disneyland because that is when they will be tall enough to ride the rides, go when you feel like it, because you may not have that chance when your child is four. If you feel like traveling with your child to Europe (OK a bit of a stretch here for the young toddler parents) then go for it because who knows what next year holds. We all are on the same boat heading for the same destination, live it as abundantly as you possibly can.
I have decided that I do have a chronic health issue, it comes and goes but I need to take care of it when it is here..like that pesky relative that comes to visit on occasion. I have been sad and hoping to go back to being the girl who used to blare her horn at the slow person in front of her but really I would say I like the person I am now and now is the time to live.